Grief is woven into the human experience. We grieve because we attach, because we love. And when life, people, or circumstances take something important from us, it hurts. Grief is testimony to the connection we had; to someone or something we loved, cherished and appreciated. But grief is not only about death of a loved one. We can also grieve relationships, identities, life transitions, ruptured safety, and, especially for trauma survivors, the childhood we did not experien

The holiday season arrives laden with expectations, and perhaps none is heavier than the unspoken (or loudly spoken) demand to be home  with family , steeped in joy and cheer. For adult survivors of childhood trauma, or anyone who has made a difficult but necessary choice to limit or forego family time, this relentless pressure can breed a specific type of emotional discomfort: shame. This isn't just disappointment; it’s the insidious feeling that you've failed a fundamental

Holidays can bring both joy and pressure. There are family expectations, traditions to uphold, the unspoken requirement to “be happy,” and financial demands that can feel overwhelming. For people who grew up in toxic families and with childhood trauma, these stresses can be even more complicated. Old roles, unresolved dynamics, and memories can resurface when everyone gathers, making it hard to feel relaxed or safe. When survivors return to their original family environment,

Many survivors of childhood trauma grow up believing that other people’s moods determine their safety. A parent’s sigh, a slammed door, a cold tone—these small cues taught our younger nervous systems to scan constantly for danger. Over time, we learned to bend, adapt, over-monitor, or emotionally disappear just to stay connected. As adults, this often becomes a familiar pattern: “I feel too dependent. I react to everyone’s moods. Then I swing to the opposite extreme and tell

What Is Trauma Bonding? Trauma bonding is the emotional attachment that forms between a person and someone who harms or manipulates them—often through cycles of affection, control, and fear. Dr. Patrick Carnes (1997), who first coined the term, described trauma bonding as “dysfunctional attachments that occur in the presence of danger, shame, or exploitation.” While it may look like love or deep connection, trauma bonds are built on intermittent reinforcement —periods of aff

If you’ve ever caught yourself replaying a moment over and over in your head—wondering what you should  have said or how you could’ve done something differently—you’ve experienced rumination . It can feel like your mind is stuck on repeat. You know it’s not helping, but you can’t seem to stop. Many people who grew up with childhood trauma recognize this familiar loop. So is rumination just “overthinking,” or could it be something deeper—like a trauma response? Let’s explore